My last post discussed the importance of accountability relationships. If you missed that post, you want to check it out. I think you’ll welcome the refreshing perspective. This week I want to give you 6 steps to building a circle of accountability. Like well constructed buildings, your accountability circle must begin with a solid foundation. This foundation determines success or failure. So, what is that foundation?
That’s right… YOU! You determine the fruitfulness of the relationship. Your commitment to personal development, or lack thereof, greatly impacts your circle. This doesn’t mean you won’t struggle in some areas. But, it does mean you are committed to continually self-assess, grow and let others help you.
The greater commitment level to personal development, the greater your capacity to accept difficult feedback, insight, praise and support from others. If you are not committed to this process you will likely see feedback as criticism and become defensive, even angry. You won’t view these relationships as beneficial.
Before you start making a list of likely candidates, take time to assess where you are and what you truly want. Ask yourself…Do I want to grow? Do I want to finally accomplish the goals I’ve set over and over? Am I willing to process difficult feedback before I reject it. Do I want to live a maximized life? If YES, then apply these steps and see the power of an accountability circle.
6 Steps to Building An Accountability Circle
1. Choose the person/people:
Who’s genuinely concerned about your success? Who celebrates you when you’re on point and is honest when you’re off course? Who adds value to you? Who shares your values? Who do you admire, follow, or consider a mentor or coach? This is a person you want in your circle. They will bring the best out of you. You may need to re-evaluate and reposition your current relationships to make room for new ones.
2. Get and give permission
A close friend could be a great choice. But don’t assume they want this type of relationship. Ask them if they are willing to support you this way. If not, don’t lose a friendship over it. Be grateful they were honest. Holding someone accountable is not easy. It’s often worth investing in a coach. They are not afraid to be honest and challenge you to grow. If you decide to utilize a coach. Do your research. Once you choose one, USE THEM. Don’t waste your money. I recommend both coaches and friends in your circle. I benefit and enjoy both. My coaches and close friendships provide an environment of exponential growth.
3. Be Specific and Honest
You want to have an honest discussion about your expectations. Give them access to your written goal. How will they know if you’re off course if you don’t tell them where you’re going? Transparency is crucial! Don’t be afraid to tell them where you are, what you are willing to do and what you desire from them. Remember the relationship starts with you. You take initiative. You take action. They just help you get to the destination.
Submission is key. Let them do what you asked or paid them to do! Don’t buck against them when they call you on the carpet. Resist the urge to come up with a million excuses why you didn’t follow through. Excuses are tools of incompetence that lead to monuments of nothing. They are often crutches for the uncommitted. If you have the right people in your circle, trust them and submit to them holding you accountable-even when it stings. Remember, this relationship makes YOU better.
5. Show gratitude
Send a text. Pray for them. Send a gift. Buy lunch. Do something periodically that reminds them how grateful you are for their investment in your life.
6 Pay it forward
The people in your circle need you as much as you need them. When they ask you to hold them accountable, do it. This helps them accomplish their goals and makes your circle stronger. Who doesn’t want that?
I hope this helps you develop healthy accountable relationships. You will see fruit for years to come.
I want to hear from you…
Do you have an accountability circle? What tips would you share with our community?